Today I took Emily to school, something I won't be able to do for a while. Yes I teared up when I was walking away, not feeling sorry for myself just a bit sad. I must trudge on and up. So I met with my Dad this morning at Borders, he didn't want gifts for his birthday so I gave him my valuable time. We talked initially about plumbing, learned more than I wanted to know about a toilet. Anyways I asked for his advice on what to possibly do in my career road ahead. Do I play it safe and stay in my comfort zone or venture out and take yet another chance to get closer to my goal.
He is a philosopher and is so great at putting together analogies to make life seem so simple. He used the scenario of me climbing the tree when I was younger and how high I would climb. Then he said if it were me climbing that tree and so much was at stake I would tie myself off. You have to have a plan and a rope to tie off just in case the worst were to happen. Something to catch you if you fall, cause you never know life could be over in a second.
Then he said are you ready to go to war? Are you prepared? If you make a choice to leave your allies be ready to fight. Are you ready to fight a battle that will probably last longer than you expect? So I have to ask myself that question am I prepared. Do I want to hunker down find myself a nice whole and get myself big fat and wait until this crazy economy/storm blows over.
Today I will complete all of my work for my web business. Next week I go back to work full time. Oh joy, yes I am happy and feel very grateful for the opportunity .
The last thing my Dad said is remember this life is a game and no one gets out alive, so don't take it so serious. Negotiate until you get what you want, and have fun. Soudns a bit harsh, but it has helped me think a little clearer on the choices I will have to make in the next few weeks.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Damn it!
It’s been a week, since the news and I just have to write about it all.
The moment came last week, when my hubby came home and told me he lost his job. This is exactly two months after I gave up my Marketing Director position to start my own business. Ugh…..
I have hope and faith that all will be alright but I definitely need support right now. "Here’s a map and here’s a bible just in case you lose your way". I am leaning on my faith and hard work ethics. One thing I know is that I can count on myself to support the family. I'm so lucky in many ways, but I’ve found myself leaning by the bead to pray to ask for strength through this all. This has tried every little bit of my patience.
I was feeling a little stressed from the lack of sleep and being in constant work mode today. Yoga has helped me relieve stress these days and remember to breathe. So as I was driving to work todayI had to laugh when I heard the words to a great song by Life House -Broken. It came through as if speaking to me, I feel like I’m falling apart barely breathing with a broken heart. This is exactly how I feel, I've been feeling a bit defeated these days, along with a little heart broken, but I will survive.
I will have to put my dream of owning my own business to rest for a few years, in order to support my family. Today, I had to ask my boss if there was any work available for me now that I had just given up my position... This is all so silly, but I guess things happen for a reason. On with life, I know that life if good.
This concludes the first chapter of my book. Is it the end or just the begining?
The moment came last week, when my hubby came home and told me he lost his job. This is exactly two months after I gave up my Marketing Director position to start my own business. Ugh…..
I have hope and faith that all will be alright but I definitely need support right now. "Here’s a map and here’s a bible just in case you lose your way". I am leaning on my faith and hard work ethics. One thing I know is that I can count on myself to support the family. I'm so lucky in many ways, but I’ve found myself leaning by the bead to pray to ask for strength through this all. This has tried every little bit of my patience.
I was feeling a little stressed from the lack of sleep and being in constant work mode today. Yoga has helped me relieve stress these days and remember to breathe. So as I was driving to work todayI had to laugh when I heard the words to a great song by Life House -Broken. It came through as if speaking to me, I feel like I’m falling apart barely breathing with a broken heart. This is exactly how I feel, I've been feeling a bit defeated these days, along with a little heart broken, but I will survive.
I will have to put my dream of owning my own business to rest for a few years, in order to support my family. Today, I had to ask my boss if there was any work available for me now that I had just given up my position... This is all so silly, but I guess things happen for a reason. On with life, I know that life if good.
This concludes the first chapter of my book. Is it the end or just the begining?
Friday, January 2, 2009
My Same Soul
Today I has been almost three weeks that I have been off work! What a much needed break for all of us. The time flew by but was so great to be home with the kids, its nice being domesticated. Today I took the kids the the U of M Historical Museum and what an adventure it was. We parked a few blocks away and walked and found the museum. Neither of the kids had been to a museum to see dinosaurs and fossils. It was so cool to see their faces when they saw all the dinosaurs and old prehistoric displays. Emily loved the different gems of the earth and bought her own crystals while Jake loved the dinosaurs and bought one to play with his trains of course. We then went to lunch at Mikes work and the kids were so excited to see Daddy's office. I was impressed to with all he does, I didn't realize just how large of a business he runs. It was a great day.
Then after all of our fun we came home and put away the Christmas decorations and I decided to show Emily my old toys that I had kept from when I was a kid. I showed her my doll clothes, garbage pail kids, and best of all my sticker books. I realized that I have been designing since I was at least 6 years old. My sticker books all 7 of them were so beautiful to Emily as they were to me as a kid. Each page is filled with stickers of all shapes and sizes. That was my hobby as a kid, finding the prettiest sticker and putting them into my book, they were like treasures. It was fun taking time to reflect on what was important to me as a kid.
After three weeks off I have of course made a new years resolution. The first is to Strive to be happy and enjoy my life. The second is to develop relationships of those I love and spend more time focusing on the ones I love not the daily household chores. The third is to speak my mind and not be afraid of saying whay I feel. All to often I am afraid of disagreeing with someone, for fear I might ofend them. I will strive to keep things simple in 2009 and be happy with what I have. There's no use in climbing the mountain if you don't enjoy the journey. And last whatever life brings me I am going to choose my reactions and make the best of it all.
After receiving my 6th grade report card with mostly C's and D's my Dad said to me. You have something that cannot be taught by books , you must choose which path you will take in life and adapt but never loose sight of your soul and the unique person you are. After all I've been through these past three weeks I feel like I am back to my same soul and it damn feels good.
Then after all of our fun we came home and put away the Christmas decorations and I decided to show Emily my old toys that I had kept from when I was a kid. I showed her my doll clothes, garbage pail kids, and best of all my sticker books. I realized that I have been designing since I was at least 6 years old. My sticker books all 7 of them were so beautiful to Emily as they were to me as a kid. Each page is filled with stickers of all shapes and sizes. That was my hobby as a kid, finding the prettiest sticker and putting them into my book, they were like treasures. It was fun taking time to reflect on what was important to me as a kid.
After three weeks off I have of course made a new years resolution. The first is to Strive to be happy and enjoy my life. The second is to develop relationships of those I love and spend more time focusing on the ones I love not the daily household chores. The third is to speak my mind and not be afraid of saying whay I feel. All to often I am afraid of disagreeing with someone, for fear I might ofend them. I will strive to keep things simple in 2009 and be happy with what I have. There's no use in climbing the mountain if you don't enjoy the journey. And last whatever life brings me I am going to choose my reactions and make the best of it all.
After receiving my 6th grade report card with mostly C's and D's my Dad said to me. You have something that cannot be taught by books , you must choose which path you will take in life and adapt but never loose sight of your soul and the unique person you are. After all I've been through these past three weeks I feel like I am back to my same soul and it damn feels good.
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