Adventures of 2009

I must say this year has been full of so many memorable moments. It all started the second week of January. Mike came home and said he was let go from his job. Perfect timing I had just opened my Business in November and Christmas had just passed. My jaw dropped and the adventure began. We went from two full time jobs to nothing. There was nothing else for me to do but to go out and find a full time job and put the business on hold. So the next day I put my resume online. A few days later I got a call from SBI. After three interviews I was offered an opportunity of a lifetime the Interactive Marketing Manager position at SBI. I then had to make one of the hardest decision to leave Ideal after 13 years. I knew it was time for me to go and I wish I could have done it differently. The timing was not the best however I had to look out for my family and SBI had so much more to offer. I took the chance and left my comfort zone and started a new career at SBI. Ideal marketing was like my baby I had grown and evolved the department so much over 13 years. It was tough to tell my brother I was going to leave after everything he did for me. Like I said I wish I could have done it under different circumstances. However it was in our best interest to take this opportunity. My Dad helped me rational things out and said you understand your going to battle and you must look at all your options. It took a lot out of me emotionally to adventure out into a completely new work world and leave all my friends. It was time for me to move onto the next chapter in life:)
I started at SBI in March and what a great choice it was. The first few months involved many experiences I will never forget. We launched two new websites which were thousands of pages and involved hundreds of business owners. I had the opportunity to be the project manager and lead the whole new website initiative. During this time I traveled to Minneapolis, Charlotte, Atlantic city, Hollywood, and last Las Vegas. It was in Las Vegas that we had the opportunity to train all the business owners how to use the new website. Through all of my travels with SBI I met many great people and learned so much about myself and those that I would be working with for the months to come. It was so much fun to travel and see how others lived. Through my travels I was able to experience so much and see a variety of lifestyles. It made me appreciate my simple life that I had here in Michigan, it all looked so different when I came back from CA. We do have it good, and I love green grass and the suburbs. I could never have done all this if it weren’t for my hubby at home taking care of the family. I am so lucky to have him. We’ve been through more than I can even explain. He went through a terrible depression, something I hope no one I know has to go through. He was even diagnosed with Skin cancer it was an unbelievable year. I often thought why is all this happening? We had lost our jobs, found new and then skin cancer… He had surgery and was given the clear and told everything should be O.K. So the next few months he was able to enjoy the summer. He struggled with depression and I went to work every day knowing how tough it was on him to stay home. Gosh it was tough and it took its toll on our relationship. When the one you love does not love themselves its hard to keep a strong relationship.
Then Emily had a seizure on her 7th birthday I mean come on. I knew it was all for a reason, but I could not help but question why? She is O.K. and we all have worked past it, and of course learned from it. Life can be over in a minute and an experience like this brings everything into perspective. I am so blessed to have such a talented, beautiful in every way daughter. I know she was sent here like an angel. Everything she says seems to be so grown up. She is the strongest person I know and the kindest heart that fills so many with love and joy. My daughter is truly an amazing little angel and so full of life and music. She often sings the “The Climb” by Myley Cyrus out her bedroom window and it echos through the neighborhood (it sounds so beautiful). It warms my heart to hear her sing, and play my guitar. She’s got a gift for music; I wonder where it will take her?
Through all of this he kept looking for a job, and took one with Tim Hortons which did not last long. Then RS offered him a job the same day that he quit with TH. I thank my lucky stars when this happened. Now 4 months later he has made it through depression put on a few pounds from all that chocolate and is back to his normal self.
We’ve all grown so much from this year and I feel so blessed. This year has tried all of our strength and faith. However through it all I knew that we would make it and that the future would hold many more happy days. I am so thankful for all my friends who listened to me gripe and supported me through 2009. I might have lost it without the love and support. Today the last day of 2009 I count my blessings and envision a much smoother 2010.

Lucky Me

Today I feel lucky. Someone said the definition of luck is when hard work and opportunity meet. Gosh I've been working my butt off and oftentimes wonder why, but it always comes back to me. My Mom always told me that you get what you give and it hasn't been until the past few years that I really get it (The Wheel Goes Around). The more I give of myself in life the more I receive. I am not just talking materials things, I am talking Mind, body and soul and overall enjoyment in life. I no longer find myself worrying so much since I left my old place and I realize that theres so much I have not seen in life. I can't wait to live.
Behind me is infinite power. Before me is endless possibility and around me is boundless opportunity. Why should I fear. I believe I have found my place in life and I am so blessed to be surrounded by such great talented people. I never know where the day is going to take me. So I now focus on the positives in life and give to those I love. Why would anyone want it any other way. Worry is a waste of your imagination and today I feel lucky.

The Secret

My little girl told me that she believes that God is watching us from the moon. One day Emily came up to me and said do you know that there's a man on the moon, you know the face on the moon. We'll she said that is God and he shines on us night. She is a special kid with a great imagination. I am so grateful everyday for what I have been given. We've had a crazy summer full of lots of drama. It was a challenge for my hubby to stay home with the kids while I went off to work everyday. I sometimes thought he was going to loose it. Then he was told he had skin cancer another scary moment. Then Emily has a seizure on her 7th birthday, the poor little thing. I read the book the Secret a few months ago and it has helped me through these trying months. A positive attitude is so important in life and keeping this in mind while my family went through some serious ups and downs has really helped me. Also of course there were a few songs that helped me through these past few months. One that I just love is Daughtry "No Surprise" I sat watching TV one morning crying as I heard this song and watched the video for the first time. The part that I shared with my hubby was if I could see the future and how this plays out I bet its better than where we are now, but after going through this I think its easier to see the reason why. I kept reminding him through this all that he would be a stronger man after going through this. So now I have him reading the secret and he is loving it! He actually talks about being on the same wave length and how lucky he is that he got a job in this economy. He's been such a different person, we have our moments but every little bit helps. Attitude is everything, thoughts become reality. So think big!

She works hard for her money!

Arrived last night from NC, so glad to be home. Now 8AM Monday morning I am back to work. This was my second trip with the new company and it has been a great experience. She works hard for her money kinda fits how I am feeling. My career has given me the opportunity to challenge myself in many areas. Yesterday I presented for the first time in front of an audience! I reviewed the new website and was a bit nervous due to not knowing what I would be presenting until that morning. No preparation = nerves and uncertainty. This was truely baptism by fire. I definately am not experience enough to wing a presentation. I did alright, but I want to do great! Like many of my colleagues who have been presenting for over 10 years. I am a true rookie. A personal goal of mine is to be able to present. I need to reherse my presentation at this point atleast until I have a few under my belt. I wish it were easier but its just so foreign to me at this point. Ughh lots to learn but I am working hard to grow professionally everyday.
It was interesting to talk to my fellow women colleagues. They to are mothers trying to juggle career and motherhood. It was so refreshing to hear that they to have to force themselves to not work when they get home. I have no problem getting home and focusing on the kids however work is always on my mind. Just knowing that I am not alone made me feel better. What a great group of people I work with they're very inspiring and I see myself developing some great relationships and growing tremendously both mind, body and soul. Still working towards finding my place, now I am really starting to think about retirement in AZ somewhere in the mountains where I can just sit back and enjoy the scenery while painting.

New begining in this big world

I am just a small part of this big huge world. I woke up today and looked at the moon and it made me feel so little. I am happy in my little place. I absolutely love my recent change in career and new location in Ann Arbor, MI. For the past 14 years mornings were a bit different when working in Detroit. My drive down Michigan Ave. to the heart of Mexican Town was always filled with interesting people, bums, and prostitutes. Seeing these things made me realize everyday how lucky I am to live the good quality of life that I live (I've worked damn hard to get where I am). So today as I drove the opposite way down Michigan Avenue toward Ann Arbor I see the complete opposite as I once saw in Detroit. It is so refreshing to see people riding their bikes to work, and others walking their dogs. I wish and imagine that someday all of us will live a good quality of life; I wish there were no dark side to life, no evil, no littering, no drugs, and no bad people.

It's About the Climb

Just heard a great song and I absolutely love it, and can relate to it. I've been at SBI for two weeks now and I am truely enjoying every moment. However there's still challenges both here and at home. Somedays "my faith is shaking but I Got to keep trying Got to keep my head held high."

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
I've got to keep pushing on,

Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
As the song sings it’s about the climb.

Paradise and New Beginings

Just another day in paradise here at the house. The kids are so funny; Jake with his big healed socks. He says the funniest things like today he said he loves the way girls smell. I ask God every night for another day in paradise, cause there’s no place I’d rather be than here with my family. Most of the time. Mike and I have grown from this experience, were such a good team. I love him so much we realize now how important it is to support each other not compete with one another. We’ve always been in competition.
I realize I have been selfish in many ways over the years. After a little tough love and some reading from Dale Carnegie I think I have come to realize that life is not all about me. Jake is telling me to turn off the computer, that it is time for my work to be done. These past few days I’ve been wrapping up all the projects I had going for my business. Ugh….. My work is never done. Can’t wait to start the new job, what a great group of people I will be working with. I look forward to meeting new people and having all new experiences.

Today

I've been caught sideways, trying to pickup pieces of my soul. This past month has been like carrying around the past in a hundred pound sack. Today I'm gonna keep on walking.....this was my motivation...
I'm gonna hold my head up high and leave it all behind.....
Today I'm gonna stand out in the rain and wash it all away.
Let it go. Oh yeah!
I 'm gonna keep on walking hold my head up high got no more tears to cry. Today was the day I accepted the job, I feel I've been forgiven and can start living again. No hard feelings, I just have to move on. Thanks Tim McGraw for yet another great song.

Tie Off Before Climbing that Tree

Today I took Emily to school, something I won't be able to do for a while. Yes I teared up when I was walking away, not feeling sorry for myself just a bit sad. I must trudge on and up. So I met with my Dad this morning at Borders, he didn't want gifts for his birthday so I gave him my valuable time. We talked initially about plumbing, learned more than I wanted to know about a toilet. Anyways I asked for his advice on what to possibly do in my career road ahead. Do I play it safe and stay in my comfort zone or venture out and take yet another chance to get closer to my goal.
He is a philosopher and is so great at putting together analogies to make life seem so simple. He used the scenario of me climbing the tree when I was younger and how high I would climb. Then he said if it were me climbing that tree and so much was at stake I would tie myself off. You have to have a plan and a rope to tie off just in case the worst were to happen. Something to catch you if you fall, cause you never know life could be over in a second.
Then he said are you ready to go to war? Are you prepared? If you make a choice to leave your allies be ready to fight. Are you ready to fight a battle that will probably last longer than you expect? So I have to ask myself that question am I prepared. Do I want to hunker down find myself a nice whole and get myself big fat and wait until this crazy economy/storm blows over.
Today I will complete all of my work for my web business. Next week I go back to work full time. Oh joy, yes I am happy and feel very grateful for the opportunity .
The last thing my Dad said is remember this life is a game and no one gets out alive, so don't take it so serious. Negotiate until you get what you want, and have fun. Soudns a bit harsh, but it has helped me think a little clearer on the choices I will have to make in the next few weeks.

Damn it!

It’s been a week, since the news and I just have to write about it all.
The moment came last week, when my hubby came home and told me he lost his job. This is exactly two months after I gave up my Marketing Director position to start my own business. Ugh…..
I have hope and faith that all will be alright but I definitely need support right now. "Here’s a map and here’s a bible just in case you lose your way". I am leaning on my faith and hard work ethics. One thing I know is that I can count on myself to support the family. I'm so lucky in many ways, but I’ve found myself leaning by the bead to pray to ask for strength through this all. This has tried every little bit of my patience.

I was feeling a little stressed from the lack of sleep and being in constant work mode today. Yoga has helped me relieve stress these days and remember to breathe. So as I was driving to work todayI had to laugh when I heard the words to a great song by Life House -Broken. It came through as if speaking to me, I feel like I’m falling apart barely breathing with a broken heart. This is exactly how I feel, I've been feeling a bit defeated these days, along with a little heart broken, but I will survive.

I will have to put my dream of owning my own business to rest for a few years, in order to support my family. Today, I had to ask my boss if there was any work available for me now that I had just given up my position... This is all so silly, but I guess things happen for a reason. On with life, I know that life if good.

This concludes the first chapter of my book. Is it the end or just the begining?

My Same Soul

Today I has been almost three weeks that I have been off work! What a much needed break for all of us. The time flew by but was so great to be home with the kids, its nice being domesticated. Today I took the kids the the U of M Historical Museum and what an adventure it was. We parked a few blocks away and walked and found the museum. Neither of the kids had been to a museum to see dinosaurs and fossils. It was so cool to see their faces when they saw all the dinosaurs and old prehistoric displays. Emily loved the different gems of the earth and bought her own crystals while Jake loved the dinosaurs and bought one to play with his trains of course. We then went to lunch at Mikes work and the kids were so excited to see Daddy's office. I was impressed to with all he does, I didn't realize just how large of a business he runs. It was a great day.
Then after all of our fun we came home and put away the Christmas decorations and I decided to show Emily my old toys that I had kept from when I was a kid. I showed her my doll clothes, garbage pail kids, and best of all my sticker books. I realized that I have been designing since I was at least 6 years old. My sticker books all 7 of them were so beautiful to Emily as they were to me as a kid. Each page is filled with stickers of all shapes and sizes. That was my hobby as a kid, finding the prettiest sticker and putting them into my book, they were like treasures. It was fun taking time to reflect on what was important to me as a kid.
After three weeks off I have of course made a new years resolution. The first is to Strive to be happy and enjoy my life. The second is to develop relationships of those I love and spend more time focusing on the ones I love not the daily household chores. The third is to speak my mind and not be afraid of saying whay I feel. All to often I am afraid of disagreeing with someone, for fear I might ofend them. I will strive to keep things simple in 2009 and be happy with what I have. There's no use in climbing the mountain if you don't enjoy the journey. And last whatever life brings me I am going to choose my reactions and make the best of it all.

After receiving my 6th grade report card with mostly C's and D's my Dad said to me. You have something that cannot be taught by books , you must choose which path you will take in life and adapt but never loose sight of your soul and the unique person you are. After all I've been through these past three weeks I feel like I am back to my same soul and it damn feels good.