Phew... It's not all about me

I made it through Christmas, I had a lot thrown at me with kids puking, me getting sick, and the husband working almost 24/7 but we pulled it off. I appreciate all that we have everyday, and feel blessed. However when the kids and I get sick all at once it brings new meaning and awareness to how grateful we should be to have our health!! This Christmas I was reminded of how much I have and how little others have in comparison. We adopted a family this Christmas and it felt so great knowing that we were able to help out. The family we adopted had three young girls and the Mom was single, all they asked for was food. Then to top it all off the day we went to deliver the gifts the family had been evicted:( We were able to locate them at a friends house, so hopeful they had a better Christmas.

This was a different Christmas than those past, Mike and I did not buy gifts for each other which was different. Jake got jipped again being that his birthday is the 22nd, and I was sick on the couch. He asked me Mom why didn't we celebrate my birthday? We made up for it later. Emily was in her first Church Christmas program and she was adorable. Her and I have "religiously" went to church and together learned so much. I volunteered to help out with her Sunday school class and like I said together were learning alot. On Christmas eve I told the kids the story of Joseph and Mary traveling to Bethlehem and as I used our manger as the prop. Scooting the figurines around brought new meaning to the Manger, that was always up in our Catholic house during Christmas as I grew up.

Now that the hectic holiday is over, thank God its over, I can see clear again and realize life is good and should be enjoyed. As my sister in law said it's much easier to be happy than angry. I will continue to develop the business slowly and steadily, until I figure out a rhythm for the work and this new opportunity I have in life. I will be cheerful and strive to be happy. It's not all about me the most important relationships I have with those around me on this journey.

Ughhh

Last week I checked myself into the ER. Sounds crazy, but for three days I felt like my heart was pounding out of control and at any moment I was going to die. I couldn't breathe it was the scariest thing I have experienced. So this past week has been filled test after test, to find out that most things are fine with me, I am not dieing (thank God:) I just have an overactive valve in my heart that is set off during times of stress. This had been going on for a few months but my breaking point was when I checked into the ER. I am usually a calm and easy going person however I think I have taken on to much in the past two months. Life should be easier now that I am part time and able to spend more time with the kids. It has been much harder than I had ever expected my business is thriving, however I am limited on time to do the work needed for the business. Right now on my drive home from work, I make my business calls, and try to setup appointments for after school between picking up Jake and Emily. When I am home there are so many distractions I have been making a profit but my mind is about to drive me crazy, it never stops thinking about what needs to be done next.

So with this life scare, I am trying to focus on the moment and not worry so much. I have been taking deep breaths, working out and doing yoga, which the kids really like. I am finding my way learning more everyday and realizing the only thing that really matters in life are the people around you and relationships.