Finding My Place in Life

Pap Sam

2011-06-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

Alexander T. 'Sam' Parenti owned GC trucking company liked to bowl, and fish. He died at the age of 74 April 17, 2002. My Grandpa “Pap Sam” was born Oct. 6, 1927, in Clearfield Township, Butler County, to Enrico Parenti and Julia Parenti. A trucker for 50 years, he retired in 1997 as owner of Parenti and Sons Trucking Co. of Grove City. He belonged to Church of the Beloved Disciple in Grove City and was a former member of Loyal Order of the Moose Lodge 1637, Mercer. He was an avid fisherman and bowler. He loved his special canine friends, "Foxy" and "Sheba." My Grandma’s maiden name was Patricia A. Morrow, whom he married more than 57 years ago, at the residence; four daughters, Rose Mary, wife of Harry Jones Jr.; and Dorothy Parenti, both Grove City; Patricia A. Parenti, Spring, Texas; and Valerie Flynn, Mercer; four sons, Alexander T. Parenti Jr. and his wife Joyce, Westland, Mich.; James T. Parenti, Grove City; Thomas R. Parenti and his wife Joyce, Diamond Bar, Calif.; and Michael J. Parenti, Meadville; three sisters, Teresa Nagy, Annabell Ekis and Dyane Parenti, all Boyers; 18 grandchildren; and nine great-grandchildren. Pap Sam had four brothers, John, Domenic, Sylvester and Tony Parenti; and two sisters, Mary Severina and Betty Jean Scarpine. He was an amazing man and I have written this blog post as a tribute for Father’s day. Thinking of all those who have lost their fathers.

Mothers Day 2011

2011-05-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

What a day waking up tot Emily’s sweet smiling face, with a tray of yogurt and a cut up banana. She said I cut the banana myself Mom, Happy Mothers Day! She then turned on my videos as she knows how I love to watch music in the morning. Then crawled under the covers and cuddled up to me in bed. A few minutes later Jake came up and had a big brown Kroger bag, and said Happy Mudders day Mom, I made this for you. His face was beaming and his eyes were sparkling and of course he was jumping up and down. I asked where have you been hiding this and he said “under my bed Mom”. I opened the present to find a recipe book form Mrs. Wilkins Kindergarten class; each child had said what their favorite foods that Mom makes. Well Jacob’s favorite food that Mom makes is Domino’s pizza. Not a surprise since Dad does all the cooking, but I did ask don’t you like my peanut butter and jelly? No response, it made me chuckle. He also made me a towel with his hand print on it, and a card that he carefully colored the flowers and did not go out of the lines. It was perfect! While opening Jake’s gift Emily was in her room creating my gift, earlier that week I had found her present in the garbage can, put it on and then realized I ruined her mother day gift. Yes she hid her gift in the garbage can a gorgeous necklace and earrings. She hand made a Box, magnet, pin, and card with a letter B.
We then went for a walk, such a pretty morning, tulips dancing for us, Emily noticing every bird. We held hands the whole way around the block it was like we were in heaven birds chirping and the air smelled so sweet. Called my Mom and wished her a happy day told her about all the great creations I received, she sent a picture of Emily’s hot plate sitting on her stove. Went to church and it was music day at church. I absolutely loved it, got home and got ready to go to Lake O with Family. Got to lake O Mamma K upset, my hubby to the rescue. She was so mad at me for missing Niki’s party. Feel bad but I was not going to miss spending time with my Mom in order to go to her party. Decisions decisions. Had an awesome day on the lake with the kids. The girls did a fashion show for us, blared the radio and strutted up and down the dock with Grandmas old 70’s clothes on, very entertaining. Jake and I spent some time together sitting on the rocks, splashing our feet in the water. He is so full of joy, his cheeks and eyes filled up with joy as he tried to push my feet into the cold water. Mischievious little one, but all day he was such a sweetheart picking any flower he could find, and giving it to his Mudder. Then Michael made a delicious fish dinner for the whole family. I told him his Dad would be proud, I was proud of him he’s such a great person! I love him so much, the Moms sat on the deck while he cooked, it was a grand day.

10 states in three weeks

2011-03-11T06:06:00.000-08:00

I wrote this entry as I was heading from San Jose to Los Angeles, missed the tsunami, thank you God! I was a bit panicked this morning when I woke up and saw that on my Google page. Never been so literally scared could not think straight. Dad freaked me out saying I was in the water funnel and to possibly get a car and head for the mountains, Got to love him. Mike got mad at me because he said I was freaking out over nothing. I’ve been to many cities in so little time, Las Vegas, (the drive to Orlando, San Antonio, San Jose. Started February 13th and I am a bit wiser in many ways. First seeing the landscape of the country makes me wonder why I live in MI. Mike and I and the family belong somewhere else. With the beautiful landscape and variety you love. I met some great people, in the past month. IFA – were all trying to do the same make a living and have fun. I’ve had conversations with many different types of people. IFA and the team at Reach Local, various franchisees, for some reason Tastee Delight, Dunkin Donuts, A&W all seem to stick out. I work for a giant in the industry and am so lucky to be able to touch and impact so many business owners. We are ahead of so many marketing teams, we have talent overflowing. The drive to FL was interesting, sitting on the beach that one day was so nice, got a great tan, and drank margaritas with the family. I am so lucky to have such a great mother in law and two great kids and an awesome husband. What can I do for my husband who has been home for a month basically on his own. He needs a vacation a medal something for all his hard work. I wish I could take him with me on all these trips. The more people I meet the more I realize that he is someone special. Nothing I didn’t already know, that’s why I married him. His personality lends himself to be such a leader. I wish he could get out and overcome his anxiety as this is holds him back from so much. His strengths with people and the ability to properly assess the situation in seconds is a gift. Not to mention that he does not sugar coat anything. I met people from all over the world and has changed my perspective on life. Love taking care of his people. I will trust that loving kindness will souround me. I am blessed!

I See God through You

2011-01-31T18:31:00.000-08:00

Emily is my reminder my peace in life that keeps me sane. I swear God speaks to me through her, sounds wierd but I believe its true. It seems that at the right moment she'll ask the greatest question or say the sweatest thing. Sunday on the way to church she recieited her bible verse perfectly. She rarely memorizes these so when she belted out "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." I literally felt that God was telling me to give my constant worry a rest. I have been exhausted by the constant arguing/worry between us. Everything we've been doing debating about is out of frustration. These times are hard Yeah there making us crazy. I heard a song today that fit where we are in life in our relationship and it brought tears to my eyes. For the First Time by The Scripts. "Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy." ~Milton Erickson
Jake is our challenge a result of poor decisions, it sure does hurt when your child misbehaves so much. How could anyone want to give up on their kid and leave them to be a child of this universe alone with out guidance. I trust that things will work out along with major persistance and discipline.

Elated in 2010

2010-12-31T16:02:00.000-08:00

So many blessings came our way in 2010, this may sound a bit cheesy but my heart overflows with happiness when I think back on all the adventures and great moments in 2010. To start my sister had her 1st son Liam, what a happy kid he is. My family and I experienced so much this year. We had a great vacation in Venice, FL during July 4th, it was such a beautiful place. The condo we had was a short walk from the ocean, Venice is a small town and not very commercialized so the beaches had so much wild life. We saw manatees, sharks, and swam with the dolphins it was awesome! We also made some great friends while we were there and went crabbin with them and the kids got along so well. Nightime crabbin for the first time was a halarious experience for us city folk. We got the condo in Venice through the MM auction. I am so blessed to be working for such a great company which has taken me so many places this year, and I know its only the begining of our journey with them. In March 2010 I presented in front of 200 people on the Grand Ol Opry Stage, as well as played the guitar on stage. Never thought I'd do this. I made some great friends while working at SBI, and was able to bring my friends the Warren bros to Convention. It was awesome to see Raquel and visit TN, after that I was known as the one who broght the Warren bros to convention which was a good thing. It was great to travel but a bit challenging to leave the family, I am so lucky for everything I have. After a few weeks on the road and a dealing with a depressed husband a physchic helped me realize how lucky I was. I have a great husband that is so loving and two beautiful kids we have so much fun together.
We got backstage passes to Tim McGraw, Lady Antebelum concert, doesn't get any better than that, and we took all the marketing girls. I am so lucky to have gone backstage it was an unforgetable night. Was able to have dinner with the Monks yet another unforgetable night.
I think this year was the most challenging for our marriage, but we've worked through it and feel we've grown stronger. Sandra has helped in many ways.
I wanted to try and reach out to my Dad this year by sending txt of great Quotes which was fun until I started getting insane txt bills. I did get to write my favorite quote on the Coffee House wall. "Create the grandest vision of your life because you become what you believe." So many great quotes still thinkin about starting a business featuring all these great quotes on poster, wall art, who knows we'll see where 2011 takes me. Speaking of 2011 my resolutions last year were to quit smoking and work out regularly. I am proud to say that I have quit and thanks to my sista Aimee I got a membership and go to the gym regularly. One thing I didn't do in 2010 is get together with Friends enough, maybe twice got together with the girls. Its great to make new friends at work and in the neighborhood, but sad to see some of my friendships drift. Thank Godness for neighbors late night talks with Nicole kept me sane. The last challenge in life was the loss of his job, after many nights wondering what I was going to do I have accepted it and found the silver lining. My hubby is now a stay at home Dad and life is much easier for me.
Mike and I had our 11 year anniversary, and went camping and canoeing on the Rifle. Good times we shared there on that river. I am looking forward to so many new adventures in 2011 with the family.

Choose to chance the rapids

2010-11-09T05:42:00.000-08:00

I'll never reach my destination If I never try. I am blessed in many ways but challenges always arise, hubby lost his job last week.
I have faith that God will help my family through this stage in our life. Help me stay strong!

My Roots in PA

2010-10-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

Year after year I come back to Pennsylvania it will never get old like strawberry wine. When I turned on my computer today the radio was blaring, now that’s a sign of a good weekend with my sisters. It started with a long drive to PA, catching up and enjoying the company of the newest edition to the family Liam. It always brings a smile to my face when I see the PA sign. Although it sure does tug on my heart thinking about all the fun summers we had there. It must be so different for Mom as she grew up there on the farm. When she sees the PA sign her eyes always well up. What a beautiful state especially in Fall, the colors are beautiful and the hills make one appreciate the colors even more.
I had a weekend that I will not forget. So many silly family quarks, like Mom and Aimee holding hands and Tracy and I “being so embarrassed”. We listened to all our wedding songs, laughed and cried. We all laughed at all the funny things that Mom says. We cried about Grandma and how much we miss her, but laughing about what a funny lady she was and amazing. I can still see her eyes sparkle, and she looked so pretty in pink. As a family we’ve been through so much and what a special group of people we are. Grandma was there with us that night laughing and crying, I really wish she was there for real!!
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. I hope that Mom can overcome this and get what she wants in life that new house with a gorgeous kitchen. A simple dream and she deserves it! It is never too late to become what you might have been.
Waking up to my sister looking at me reminded me of the younger years she always had that look on her face of being startled. She’s a careless mans careful daughter, what a great sentence in that song but true to all of us girls.
Such a fun trip we have to do it again and again, going to PA never gets old always something new to see. The Amish, the hills, the crazy houses with permanent garage sales on their front lawns covered up with tarp. The winery, yum, Volant, Moms farm house she grew up in and 348 S. Neshanock. All these places are so rich with history from the Jenny, Mariner, and Parenti family memories that will never fade. Summers in PA, I hope I can make simple memories like this for my kids. Being with my family reminds me of why I am who I am. I’d like to live in Pennsylvanian someday maybe own the house on S. Neshanock

Instructions for review responses

2010-08-06T06:03:00.000-07:00

Instructions for review responses

Hello World

2010-05-19T19:39:00.000-07:00

I have been caught up in this crazy life for the past year, trying to do everything will definitely make you lose your mind (wife, Mom, Career, Family, Friends). I needed a bit of direction to keep me from losing my mind. I decided to do something I hadn’t done in 15 years go see a psychic! So on Monday me and a friend of mine from work went to a great psychic in Ann Arbor, I felt like she new me and I told her absolutely nothing other than my name. Wow did she summarize where I am in life right now. I’ve explained it to Mike a few times as coming out of a huge dust cloud. The first few years of being a parent keeps you busy 24/7.
There’s a song that captures the basic feelings and direction of my life right now, it’s called Hello World by Lady Antebelum, a few of the lyrics are: Traffic crawls, cell phone calls. Talk radio screams at me Through my tinted window I see A little girl, rust red minivan She's got chocolate on her face Got little hands, And she waves at me Yeah, She smiles at me. Hello World How you been? Good to see you, my old friend Sometimes I feel, cold as steel Broken like I'm never gonna heal I see a light, a little hope In a little girl Hello world.

The song summarizes where I’ve been. Life ups and downs has pushed me to be self centered and focused on my career. I never wanted to be any of these things, at the end of the day what really matters is my family and friends. I am so lucky and have what most people want in life, a husband that loves me and two beautiful kids. The past year has forced me to focus on my career and me. It’s a tremendous responsibility to be the sole income provider for a family of four. So I failed to focus on my spouse, it was a hard year with loosing his job and a major depression. However, after a good conversation with a stranger my once caotic life seems to be simple and clear, what really matters most in life is my family. It sounds so silly that I lost sight of this. I am blessed to have a great job and I work with a great group of people however … Money isn’t everything. I can always find a job I am good at what I do. She said “you have two paths to choose from right now– family /Career. She said, “your job Is just too big for you right now”. You love your job but you travel is too much for your young family right now”. This is so true, I love the job and travel but it’s a lot to leave. The travel season is over, phew went to Nashville twice within one month. This is such a small amount of travel compared to most of those that I work with. Wow what great experiences I have had in my adventures in traveling, I have learned so much and seen amazing things. I do love seeing the world it just takes me away from the kids and it’s just not the right time now. The psychic said. “This job could take you to far places; however your husband does not like you to travel.“ Its really is tough on him as he works and has to take care of the kids on his own. I don’t know why a stranger’s word made things so clear.

It’s easy to get caught up in life/career and sometimes forget why your here. I truly love walking through thru my front door and being home with my husband, little girl, and little boy. It sounds great to be a stay at home Mom, but I wonder if I could do it and be satisfied???

The psychic described him perfectly in many ways. She said “He should own his own business, because he’s good at telling people what to do (no really). He should follow in his family’s footsteps and run his own business because it’s what he's good at”. I am going to try and convince him that we should start a business together. I said to him the other night, “let’s do something together that we both love.” You could fish and we could create an educational website/blog and make millions doing what we love. Someday we’ll do it.

I am so lucky to have experienced all the things I have over the past year, my career has taken me so many places, and I wish I could take my family with me. I am happy with what I have and am so happy to have been awakened by a stranger to remind me why I'm here to take care of my family. I must believe in myself and find peace with the place I am at in life. I am back to loving life and enjoying the little things all around me! Yeah.

Dear Mom

2010-01-15T05:32:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share with you a priceless moment I had with Emily last night. When she got home she was so excited to share this with me this letter she wrote during school.
After I read it (of course tears filled my eyes)I told her we could do art lessons again, and that I was never too busy for her. I hugged her and she asked, "What is it like being a Mom?" I told her it’s a love like no other. That I always felt incomplete until I had her and Jake. We had quite a long conversation after that it was such a priceless letter that I will hold onto forever.

Adventures of 2009

2009-12-31T09:09:00.000-08:00

I must say this year has been full of so many memorable moments. It all started the second week of January. Mike came home and said he was let go from his job. Perfect timing I had just opened my Business in November and Christmas had just passed. My jaw dropped and the adventure began. We went from two full time jobs to nothing. There was nothing else for me to do but to go out and find a full time job and put the business on hold. So the next day I put my resume online. A few days later I got a call from SBI. After three interviews I was offered an opportunity of a lifetime the Interactive Marketing Manager position at SBI. I then had to make one of the hardest decision to leave Ideal after 13 years. I knew it was time for me to go and I wish I could have done it differently. The timing was not the best however I had to look out for my family and SBI had so much more to offer. I took the chance and left my comfort zone and started a new career at SBI. Ideal marketing was like my baby I had grown and evolved the department so much over 13 years. It was tough to tell my brother I was going to leave after everything he did for me. Like I said I wish I could have done it under different circumstances. However it was in our best interest to take this opportunity. My Dad helped me rational things out and said you understand your going to battle and you must look at all your options. It took a lot out of me emotionally to adventure out into a completely new work world and leave all my friends. It was time for me to move onto the next chapter in life:)
I started at SBI in March and what a great choice it was. The first few months involved many experiences I will never forget. We launched two new websites which were thousands of pages and involved hundreds of business owners. I had the opportunity to be the project manager and lead the whole new website initiative. During this time I traveled to Minneapolis, Charlotte, Atlantic city, Hollywood, and last Las Vegas. It was in Las Vegas that we had the opportunity to train all the business owners how to use the new website. Through all of my travels with SBI I met many great people and learned so much about myself and those that I would be working with for the months to come. It was so much fun to travel and see how others lived. Through my travels I was able to experience so much and see a variety of lifestyles. It made me appreciate my simple life that I had here in Michigan, it all looked so different when I came back from CA. We do have it good, and I love green grass and the suburbs. I could never have done all this if it weren’t for my hubby at home taking care of the family. I am so lucky to have him. We’ve been through more than I can even explain. He went through a terrible depression, something I hope no one I know has to go through. He was even diagnosed with Skin cancer it was an unbelievable year. I often thought why is all this happening? We had lost our jobs, found new and then skin cancer… He had surgery and was given the clear and told everything should be O.K. So the next few months he was able to enjoy the summer. He struggled with depression and I went to work every day knowing how tough it was on him to stay home. Gosh it was tough and it took its toll on our relationship. When the one you love does not love themselves its hard to keep a strong relationship.
Then Emily had a seizure on her 7th birthday I mean come on. I knew it was all for a reason, but I could not help but question why? She is O.K. and we all have worked past it, and of course learned from it. Life can be over in a minute and an experience like this brings everything into perspective. I am so blessed to have such a talented, beautiful in every way daughter. I know she was sent here like an angel. Everything she says seems to be so grown up. She is the strongest person I know and the kindest heart that fills so many with love and joy. My daughter is truly an amazing little angel and so full of life and music. She often sings the “The Climb” by Myley Cyrus out her bedroom window and it echos through the neighborhood (it sounds so beautiful). It warms my heart to hear her sing, and play my guitar. She’s got a gift for music; I wonder where it will take her?
Through all of this he kept looking for a job, and took one with Tim Hortons which did not last long. Then RS offered him a job the same day that he quit with TH. I thank my lucky stars when this happened. Now 4 months later he has made it through depression put on a few pounds from all that chocolate and is back to his normal self.
We’ve all grown so much from this year and I feel so blessed. This year has tried all of our strength and faith. However through it all I knew that we would make it and that the future would hold many more happy days. I am so thankful for all my friends who listened to me gripe and supported me through 2009. I might have lost it without the love and support. Today the last day of 2009 I count my blessings and envision a much smoother 2010.

Lucky Me

2009-11-11T08:51:00.000-08:00

Today I feel lucky. Someone said the definition of luck is when hard work and opportunity meet. Gosh I've been working my butt off and oftentimes wonder why, but it always comes back to me. My Mom always told me that you get what you give and it hasn't been until the past few years that I really get it (The Wheel Goes Around). The more I give of myself in life the more I receive. I am not just talking materials things, I am talking Mind, body and soul and overall enjoyment in life. I no longer find myself worrying so much since I left my old place and I realize that theres so much I have not seen in life. I can't wait to live.
Behind me is infinite power. Before me is endless possibility and around me is boundless opportunity. Why should I fear. I believe I have found my place in life and I am so blessed to be surrounded by such great talented people. I never know where the day is going to take me. So I now focus on the positives in life and give to those I love. Why would anyone want it any other way. Worry is a waste of your imagination and today I feel lucky.

The Secret

2009-08-07T13:55:00.001-07:00

My little girl told me that she believes that God is watching us from the moon. One day Emily came up to me and said do you know that there's a man on the moon, you know the face on the moon. We'll she said that is God and he shines on us night. She is a special kid with a great imagination. I am so grateful everyday for what I have been given. We've had a crazy summer full of lots of drama. It was a challenge for my hubby to stay home with the kids while I went off to work everyday. I sometimes thought he was going to loose it. Then he was told he had skin cancer another scary moment. Then Emily has a seizure on her 7th birthday, the poor little thing. I read the book the Secret a few months ago and it has helped me through these trying months. A positive attitude is so important in life and keeping this in mind while my family went through some serious ups and downs has really helped me. Also of course there were a few songs that helped me through these past few months. One that I just love is Daughtry "No Surprise" I sat watching TV one morning crying as I heard this song and watched the video for the first time. The part that I shared with my hubby was if I could see the future and how this plays out I bet its better than where we are now, but after going through this I think its easier to see the reason why. I kept reminding him through this all that he would be a stronger man after going through this. So now I have him reading the secret and he is loving it! He actually talks about being on the same wave length and how lucky he is that he got a job in this economy. He's been such a different person, we have our moments but every little bit helps. Attitude is everything, thoughts become reality. So think big!

She works hard for her money!

2009-05-20T08:46:00.001-07:00

Arrived last night from NC, so glad to be home. Now 8AM Monday morning I am back to work. This was my second trip with the new company and it has been a great experience. She works hard for her money kinda fits how I am feeling. My career has given me the opportunity to challenge myself in many areas. Yesterday I presented for the first time in front of an audience! I reviewed the new website and was a bit nervous due to not knowing what I would be presenting until that morning. No preparation = nerves and uncertainty. This was truely baptism by fire. I definately am not experience enough to wing a presentation. I did alright, but I want to do great! Like many of my colleagues who have been presenting for over 10 years. I am a true rookie. A personal goal of mine is to be able to present. I need to reherse my presentation at this point atleast until I have a few under my belt. I wish it were easier but its just so foreign to me at this point. Ughh lots to learn but I am working hard to grow professionally everyday.
It was interesting to talk to my fellow women colleagues. They to are mothers trying to juggle career and motherhood. It was so refreshing to hear that they to have to force themselves to not work when they get home. I have no problem getting home and focusing on the kids however work is always on my mind. Just knowing that I am not alone made me feel better. What a great group of people I work with they're very inspiring and I see myself developing some great relationships and growing tremendously both mind, body and soul. Still working towards finding my place, now I am really starting to think about retirement in AZ somewhere in the mountains where I can just sit back and enjoy the scenery while painting.

New begining in this big world

2009-03-18T05:27:00.000-07:00

I am just a small part of this big huge world. I woke up today and looked at the moon and it made me feel so little. I am happy in my little place. I absolutely love my recent change in career and new location in Ann Arbor, MI. For the past 14 years mornings were a bit different when working in Detroit. My drive down Michigan Ave. to the heart of Mexican Town was always filled with interesting people, bums, and prostitutes. Seeing these things made me realize everyday how lucky I am to live the good quality of life that I live (I've worked damn hard to get where I am). So today as I drove the opposite way down Michigan Avenue toward Ann Arbor I see the complete opposite as I once saw in Detroit. It is so refreshing to see people riding their bikes to work, and others walking their dogs. I wish and imagine that someday all of us will live a good quality of life; I wish there were no dark side to life, no evil, no littering, no drugs, and no bad people.

It's About the Climb

2009-03-11T09:40:00.000-07:00

Just heard a great song and I absolutely love it, and can relate to it. I've been at SBI for two weeks now and I am truely enjoying every moment. However there's still challenges both here and at home. Somedays "my faith is shaking but I Got to keep trying Got to keep my head held high."

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
I've got to keep pushing on,

Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
As the song sings it’s about the climb.

Paradise and New Beginings

2009-02-18T17:02:00.000-08:00

Just another day in paradise here at the house. The kids are so funny; Jake with his big healed socks. He says the funniest things like today he said he loves the way girls smell. I ask God every night for another day in paradise, cause there’s no place I’d rather be than here with my family. Most of the time. Mike and I have grown from this experience, were such a good team. I love him so much we realize now how important it is to support each other not compete with one another. We’ve always been in competition.
I realize I have been selfish in many ways over the years. After a little tough love and some reading from Dale Carnegie I think I have come to realize that life is not all about me. Jake is telling me to turn off the computer, that it is time for my work to be done. These past few days I’ve been wrapping up all the projects I had going for my business. Ugh….. My work is never done. Can’t wait to start the new job, what a great group of people I will be working with. I look forward to meeting new people and having all new experiences.

Today

2009-02-06T16:10:00.000-08:00

I've been caught sideways, trying to pickup pieces of my soul. This past month has been like carrying around the past in a hundred pound sack. Today I'm gonna keep on walking.....this was my motivation...
I'm gonna hold my head up high and leave it all behind.....
Today I'm gonna stand out in the rain and wash it all away.
Let it go. Oh yeah!
I 'm gonna keep on walking hold my head up high got no more tears to cry. Today was the day I accepted the job, I feel I've been forgiven and can start living again. No hard feelings, I just have to move on. Thanks Tim McGraw for yet another great song.

Tie Off Before Climbing that Tree

2009-01-30T10:03:00.000-08:00

Today I took Emily to school, something I won't be able to do for a while. Yes I teared up when I was walking away, not feeling sorry for myself just a bit sad. I must trudge on and up. So I met with my Dad this morning at Borders, he didn't want gifts for his birthday so I gave him my valuable time. We talked initially about plumbing, learned more than I wanted to know about a toilet. Anyways I asked for his advice on what to possibly do in my career road ahead. Do I play it safe and stay in my comfort zone or venture out and take yet another chance to get closer to my goal.
He is a philosopher and is so great at putting together analogies to make life seem so simple. He used the scenario of me climbing the tree when I was younger and how high I would climb. Then he said if it were me climbing that tree and so much was at stake I would tie myself off. You have to have a plan and a rope to tie off just in case the worst were to happen. Something to catch you if you fall, cause you never know life could be over in a second.
Then he said are you ready to go to war? Are you prepared? If you make a choice to leave your allies be ready to fight. Are you ready to fight a battle that will probably last longer than you expect? So I have to ask myself that question am I prepared. Do I want to hunker down find myself a nice whole and get myself big fat and wait until this crazy economy/storm blows over.
Today I will complete all of my work for my web business. Next week I go back to work full time. Oh joy, yes I am happy and feel very grateful for the opportunity .
The last thing my Dad said is remember this life is a game and no one gets out alive, so don't take it so serious. Negotiate until you get what you want, and have fun. Soudns a bit harsh, but it has helped me think a little clearer on the choices I will have to make in the next few weeks.

Damn it!

2009-01-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

It’s been a week, since the news and I just have to write about it all.
The moment came last week, when my hubby came home and told me he lost his job. This is exactly two months after I gave up my Marketing Director position to start my own business. Ugh…..
I have hope and faith that all will be alright but I definitely need support right now. "Here’s a map and here’s a bible just in case you lose your way". I am leaning on my faith and hard work ethics. One thing I know is that I can count on myself to support the family. I'm so lucky in many ways, but I’ve found myself leaning by the bead to pray to ask for strength through this all. This has tried every little bit of my patience.

I was feeling a little stressed from the lack of sleep and being in constant work mode today. Yoga has helped me relieve stress these days and remember to breathe. So as I was driving to work todayI had to laugh when I heard the words to a great song by Life House -Broken. It came through as if speaking to me, I feel like I’m falling apart barely breathing with a broken heart. This is exactly how I feel, I've been feeling a bit defeated these days, along with a little heart broken, but I will survive.

I will have to put my dream of owning my own business to rest for a few years, in order to support my family. Today, I had to ask my boss if there was any work available for me now that I had just given up my position... This is all so silly, but I guess things happen for a reason. On with life, I know that life if good.

This concludes the first chapter of my book. Is it the end or just the begining?

My Same Soul

2009-01-02T21:33:00.000-08:00

Today I has been almost three weeks that I have been off work! What a much needed break for all of us. The time flew by but was so great to be home with the kids, its nice being domesticated. Today I took the kids the the U of M Historical Museum and what an adventure it was. We parked a few blocks away and walked and found the museum. Neither of the kids had been to a museum to see dinosaurs and fossils. It was so cool to see their faces when they saw all the dinosaurs and old prehistoric displays. Emily loved the different gems of the earth and bought her own crystals while Jake loved the dinosaurs and bought one to play with his trains of course. We then went to lunch at Mikes work and the kids were so excited to see Daddy's office. I was impressed to with all he does, I didn't realize just how large of a business he runs. It was a great day.
Then after all of our fun we came home and put away the Christmas decorations and I decided to show Emily my old toys that I had kept from when I was a kid. I showed her my doll clothes, garbage pail kids, and best of all my sticker books. I realized that I have been designing since I was at least 6 years old. My sticker books all 7 of them were so beautiful to Emily as they were to me as a kid. Each page is filled with stickers of all shapes and sizes. That was my hobby as a kid, finding the prettiest sticker and putting them into my book, they were like treasures. It was fun taking time to reflect on what was important to me as a kid.
After three weeks off I have of course made a new years resolution. The first is to Strive to be happy and enjoy my life. The second is to develop relationships of those I love and spend more time focusing on the ones I love not the daily household chores. The third is to speak my mind and not be afraid of saying whay I feel. All to often I am afraid of disagreeing with someone, for fear I might ofend them. I will strive to keep things simple in 2009 and be happy with what I have. There's no use in climbing the mountain if you don't enjoy the journey. And last whatever life brings me I am going to choose my reactions and make the best of it all.

After receiving my 6th grade report card with mostly C's and D's my Dad said to me. You have something that cannot be taught by books , you must choose which path you will take in life and adapt but never loose sight of your soul and the unique person you are. After all I've been through these past three weeks I feel like I am back to my same soul and it damn feels good.

Phew... It's not all about me

2008-12-27T11:54:00.000-08:00

I made it through Christmas, I had a lot thrown at me with kids puking, me getting sick, and the husband working almost 24/7 but we pulled it off. I appreciate all that we have everyday, and feel blessed. However when the kids and I get sick all at once it brings new meaning and awareness to how grateful we should be to have our health!! This Christmas I was reminded of how much I have and how little others have in comparison. We adopted a family this Christmas and it felt so great knowing that we were able to help out. The family we adopted had three young girls and the Mom was single, all they asked for was food. Then to top it all off the day we went to deliver the gifts the family had been evicted:( We were able to locate them at a friends house, so hopeful they had a better Christmas.

This was a different Christmas than those past, Mike and I did not buy gifts for each other which was different. Jake got jipped again being that his birthday is the 22nd, and I was sick on the couch. He asked me Mom why didn't we celebrate my birthday? We made up for it later. Emily was in her first Church Christmas program and she was adorable. Her and I have "religiously" went to church and together learned so much. I volunteered to help out with her Sunday school class and like I said together were learning alot. On Christmas eve I told the kids the story of Joseph and Mary traveling to Bethlehem and as I used our manger as the prop. Scooting the figurines around brought new meaning to the Manger, that was always up in our Catholic house during Christmas as I grew up.

Now that the hectic holiday is over, thank God its over, I can see clear again and realize life is good and should be enjoyed. As my sister in law said it's much easier to be happy than angry. I will continue to develop the business slowly and steadily, until I figure out a rhythm for the work and this new opportunity I have in life. I will be cheerful and strive to be happy. It's not all about me the most important relationships I have with those around me on this journey.

Ughhh

2008-12-20T06:31:00.000-08:00

Last week I checked myself into the ER. Sounds crazy, but for three days I felt like my heart was pounding out of control and at any moment I was going to die. I couldn't breathe it was the scariest thing I have experienced. So this past week has been filled test after test, to find out that most things are fine with me, I am not dieing (thank God:) I just have an overactive valve in my heart that is set off during times of stress. This had been going on for a few months but my breaking point was when I checked into the ER. I am usually a calm and easy going person however I think I have taken on to much in the past two months. Life should be easier now that I am part time and able to spend more time with the kids. It has been much harder than I had ever expected my business is thriving, however I am limited on time to do the work needed for the business. Right now on my drive home from work, I make my business calls, and try to setup appointments for after school between picking up Jake and Emily. When I am home there are so many distractions I have been making a profit but my mind is about to drive me crazy, it never stops thinking about what needs to be done next.

So with this life scare, I am trying to focus on the moment and not worry so much. I have been taking deep breaths, working out and doing yoga, which the kids really like. I am finding my way learning more everyday and realizing the only thing that really matters in life are the people around you and relationships.

I am Thankful For

2008-11-28T14:19:00.000-08:00

During this season of giving thanks, I want to tell you my family “thank you”

I am thankful for Sunday Dinners, we get together more than any family I know and I am so grateful for all of you. My family is special in many ways.

I am thankful for mom My sweet big hearted Mom, what a strong person she is.
My genius inventor Dad who made us all learn the hard way!
I am thankful that my parents raised such great kids.
I am thankful for growing up with all of my siblings in the house on 8252 Rickie.
I am thankful for my Goof ball brother and all that he’s taught me
I am so thankful for my big sister who gives me so much in life just in observing her extraordinary courage and strength.
I am thankful that my little sister understands me and accepts me unlike anyone else and can always make me laugh.

I am thankful for seeing my Emilys face when she gets out of school
I am thankful for Walking the kids to school
I am thankful I am healthy and can do anything I want
I am thankful for almost dying while 7 months pregnant that put a whole new perspective on life.
I am thankful for my kids who remind me of God everyday
I am thankful for my big teddy bear hubby who always says what he needs to say
I am thankful I am here on earth and can share this time with you.

Keep Balance in Life

2008-11-14T20:37:00.000-08:00

I don’t want to give this up, walking Emily to school, building train tracks with Jake. It sure is a juggling act but this is where I want to be right now in life. I am working 24 hrs a week and about 10 hrs a week for my own business. I wrote the business plan today, and I am working on reserving my domain name for my website.
Where there’s a will there’s a way. I was told this when I mentioned to a girl at work what I wanted to do. Today was another part of my journey in life. It started off walking the Emily to school and ended up at an awards gala in Detroit. The DHDC event with the company I’ve worked for now 14 years (which I love). Then event was very moving, a man spoke at the event Ron (can’t think of his last name) who had no legs since birth he was amazing! He spoke of all he’s has overcome and how important it is to know that you can achieve any dream. He had everyone stand at the end of his speech to raise awareness of how lucky we all are to not be disabled. Then after the event we all went and had a drink at the bar and I was able to talk with one of the “whistle blowers” from the Kwame scandal with the Detroit Police officers.
All of this in one day its so great to spend time with the kids and then meet such interesting people. I continually work and promote my own business in all I do so I don’t ever have to give up this freedom. I love such diversity in my life the balance with my family and profession is awesome, The more I meet people in such high stature roles the more I realize they’re just people. I used to be intimidated by people of authority, but now realize we are all the same. We have families, and dreams and just want to be loved.

Keeping it Simple

2008-11-10T18:47:00.000-08:00

I wonder if Life in America will ever slow down. Today as I was working out there was a conversation I couldn't help but listen in on. It was a guy talking about his wife going part time. He went on to explain that their cutting out daycare cost and will be able to make ends meet. He then said "most importantly she'll be able to spend more time with the kids". This may sound silly but it gave me hope for a simpler America. We all seem to be so busy, and exceed our needs. I often see these big beautiful houses with no one in them? I wish everyone would just slow down. We have so much more than most people in the world but everyone wants more. I myself want more, more shoes, a bigger house, a nicer car. But one thing I keep reminding myself of is that monetary things don't make happiness. It's the simple things in life. Like Emily winning her first trophy. Or Jake thinking he can really fly because he was dressed as buz light year.
Yeah someday I'll be well off, but I am not willing to give up my happiness for it. These days I find myself smiling more and just in a better mood. These days in our house you'll find just the right mix of caos and love.

A Little Past Little Rock

2008-11-05T20:00:00.000-08:00

To soon to know what's up ahead to late to change my mind. I've gotta keep my mind out of this and both hands on the wheel. I'm learning more and more each day just how it feels to be a business owner. Today Emily and I went on our first client meeting together. A moment I will never forget I wanted to talk with a local business owner about what services I could offer them and Emily came with me. I told her that she had to be quiet during my meeting and could ask questions when I was done. She did good and asked lots of questions. Like why did she wear that thing on her head? I had to explain the Muslim culture. In general I think she can benefit from seeing what it takes to start a business.
The meeting went well I will meet with Beth again on Friday to give her the costs for setting up Her Google AdWords account. This is an extremely interesting lady she has 9 kids and owns her own business. I hope that someday I can be like her, well not exactly but I sure do admire a women that can juggle all of that.
This week has been an interesting week full of good news. On Monday I found out that my boss/brother has been appointed to VP of the company. I am so happy for him and his family, he deserves it. Also today I got a call from a recruiter saying that word on the street is that Ideal has let go of some good people. Hmm this really makes me think and the opportunity looks pretty nice. I don't see myself taking another full time job, however I am keeping my options open. For now I am focusing on My business and loving it, as my friend Cindy said to me today I am creating my own destiny. It's exciting and a little nerve racking at the same time, but as the song says to soon to know whats up ahead to late to change my mind. I gave it all up and have really enjoyed these last few weeks with the family and my flexible schedule.

Sticking to My Beliefs and the Plan

2008-10-12T19:18:00.001-07:00

Last week I began the first week of training the new girl. So on Monday I wasn't going to waste any time. After all I have been given 30 days to show her everything. So I handed over my desk, my computer, and my phone extension. People in the office were a little taken back. Some of my co workers didn't know the whole story, so many questions were asked. People are so curious, which I have no problem with. One guy said so you just don't want to work anymore or what? So I of course had to tell him what I am doing, going part time so I can spend more time with the kids and open my own business. He then said well if there's anything I can do let me know, so I pitched my company. I have to make the most of every moment, cause you never know.
One girl asked so are you O.K.with this? I said yes this is exactly what I asked for. Another friend of mine said you're so lucky, I said it has nothing to do with luck its a choice. I think this came out a little offensive to him, but it's the truth. One lady made me mad when she said so do you feel like a fish out of water? I thought this was a little presumptuous considering she had no idea what I have been through to get to this point. Another said so how does it feel not to have to be responsible for marketing anymore? I said I am not quite there yet.
So with all of the questions I am sticking to my beliefs, and taking pride in passing off my career. There are so many great things in life, and I will strive to keep my head up, nose to the grinstone and focus on the good in this whole transition. There's a lot of "Good" in the world.
My career is being passed off to someone with a "good" head on her shoulders, I think we made a "good" decision choosing her. I told the boss she's doing "good" in her first week, by considering she can keep up with me.
Most importantly its better than Good to be a Mom, its awesome! Am I cheesy or what:)

Soon I will be Free

2008-10-04T05:04:00.000-07:00

This morning at 7:30 I went for a walk, an old 70"s song was stuck in my head "Sailing". Specifically the verse soon I will be free. The song says, “my dream and the wind will carry me soon I will be free”. Fits the moment I am in, I am close to completing the first half of my journey and almost don't want to say this out loud.

Yesterday I cleaned out my desk. I asked the boss where the new girl was going to sit and he said I don't know? So I suggested I give her my desk because she is taking over my position at the company as Marketing Manager, makes sense?
So I gave up my desk which I surely do not have any emotional ties to. Some people do, its like their home, they do spend most of their awake time sitting behind it. I added up how many hours I sat behind that desk and it was an astonishing 54,000 hrs! Whoa. I now have a new desk and Monday I begin training; I have negotiated 30 days to train her then I will be a part time employee. Ready set Go!

Love the Working People

2008-09-29T19:45:00.001-07:00

Today started off rough Mike and I had a debate on bills. Now the fun begins with balancing the checkbook and the life of a business owner. Of course on my drive in this morning I couldn’t help but notice all of the average citizens working. For a second the thought crosses my mind wouldn’t it be easier just to be average.
It was about 7:00 am when I left the house and as I drove to work I noticed all these random people working; the dry cleaning lady, the garbage men, the gas station attendant, and that guy who is always in his real estate office super early working away? I often wonder if he ever leaves. Today was different than any other day I am starting to look at the world and its people differently. I recently read a book called Rich Man and a Poor Man, which is why I am looking at things so differently. The book talked a lot about the middle class and the rich. The author stated that those who go to work everyday are shooting themselves in the foot every time they get up and go to work. There’s a lot to the book but this statement stuck with me and stood out especially today. Those of us who choose to work for someone else are basically making the bosses/share holders richer. I love watching people in their profession and admire everyone’s strengths, but this morning was different. I made my first business cards today, and will have the first meeting tomorrow with my long time client BC Global. Emily said something to me today that cracked me up, she said Mom you must of misunderstood yourself. Yes you must have misunderstood yourself, you said I could ride my scooter back and forth twice down the street. Both the kids say such innocent things that crack me up and keep reminding me why I am doing this. More time with them is what I’ve wanted for a long long time.

Say What you Need To Say

2008-09-28T15:46:00.000-07:00

I need to just sit back and watch the fireworks, some great advice I've been given when making this transition. I begin training my replacement next week and I asked the boss what he'd like me to focus on in training. The answer was a little less than I expected. The answer given was pretty much to "just wing it". See what she's good at and go from there. I cringed to hear this but this is where I need to just watch the fireworks. I have to leave all of my expectations behind and just do what my employeer asks. I am struggling with this because over the past 13 years I have created alot of assest for the company. If not maintained they could go away quickly. I would like to focus on these money making responsibilites because once part time I will not be able to maintain them with my part time schedule. I shared my thoughts and said what I needed to say. So I will give it my best and move forward on my journey.

Love Life

2008-09-25T14:10:00.000-07:00

Today I picked up the kids from school and was home by 4:00 what a difference this makes! A pot roast is in the oven and I have done one hour of work all in my home before 5:00. Gosh this is great, I am loving life. Now the hard part in my mission/journey begins. Next week I will be preparing to pass off my job and train our new employee! I have so many mixed emotions about it all, but it's exciting. I am doing exactly what I planned to do. I have to say it took me an entire year to make this decision to go part time and open my own business. My business plan is in the works, I have been making my business calls on the way home from work to get things rolling. So it’s official on November 5th I am part time. I have been asking a lot more questions these days. Mike and I are having fun brainstorming about all the possibilities of the business. It's so important to keep it fun. I am learning more and more everyday. I recommend to anyone wanting to do this to listen to the book on tape, "Rich Dad Poor Dad". This book has helped me see many other opportunities for income or assets to supplement my income. In today’s world there are so many options for generating income online, the traditional 9-5 job is a thing of the past.

Simply Found

2008-09-19T13:07:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here today in my home office at 4:00 getting things together and organized to send out my first e-mail. I want to let my friends and family know what my business plans are. The business name is going to be "B There Marketing" and the slogan will be Simply Found.... It fits the services I will be providing. Basically getting a company in the right place at the right time. In the sea of information online I will help companies be simply found.

Experience Life to enjoy the simple things

2008-09-15T21:07:00.000-07:00

As I look around I wonder if those on the playground realize how lucky they are to be able to pickup their kids from school. I have experienced Life’s Pain to enjoy a simple thing in life such as picking up my kid from school. For years now I have rushed home to pickup the kids up from daycare and after school programs, then once home its diner time, then time to cleanup dishes then baths. Our family schedule did not leave much time to truely enjoy the kids.

I tried to involve the kids in the dinner time routine. however, it never really felt like I was giving them the attention after a long day. Yesterday was the first day that I was able to pickup Emily from school and Jake and I were home by 4:00! Wah Who. It was interesting to see all of the Moms picking up their kids, and then after the kids came out of school the Moms just gabbed with each other while the kids played. It's been a long hard road to this point but it sure does make me appreciate that moment of picking them up from school. I was ahead of most of my friends in having kids so it wasn’t until recently that a few of my “Mom” friends said that they realized what I had been going through with leaving their babies at home. So I will continue on with my quest to make ends meet and develop my own business.

Follow your heart

2008-09-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

This is a short and sweet entry today. It's the last full day of work here :) As I follow my heart in taking this chance today I am reminded of the true importance of this. Today I found out that one of my friends has cancer and another might have a brain tumor. Life is short; never know when your time is up.

No More Watching from the Sidelines

2008-09-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to my first parent teacher conference, and learned a tremendous amount about the 1st grade curriculum. It was so fun to sit at my daughters desk and see all the work she has done in her first few weeks. This helped me see where I need to work with her. I am so excited to be able to have more time to devote to her and developing these critical skills of reading and writing. I am affraid she might have inherited her Dad dislexia. Her numbers and letters are ofter written backwards, her eraser was almost all used up:) Her unorganized desk and used up eraser was so cute to me. She is somewhat of a perfectionist. Learning all about what my daughter will be doing was enlightening. I look forward to being more involved this year. In the past I have wished I could be more involved, no longer will I be watching from the sidelines as my kids go to school.

Get to The Otherside

2008-09-08T09:06:00.000-07:00

This is my last full week here, next week my schedule goes to 30 hrs a week. Everyday as I drive to work I have my favorite artist of the day just blaring on the radio. I love music! As if the drive down Michigan Ave. isn't entertaining enough. Some of my best Marketing ideas come to me while driving. Music has helped me make tough decisions. I guess knowing I am not the only one pondering every detail while feeling overly emotional makes me feel better. It took me an entire year to finally make this huge career change. I still am looking forward to it all.
As Carrie Underwood says "I guess it's gonna have to hurt, I guess I'm gonna have to cry, And let go of some things I've loved, To get to the other side, I guess it's gonna break me down, Like falling when you try to fly, It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life, Starts with goodbye. I know there's a blue horizon, Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me, Getting there means leaving things behind, Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.
This song just summarizes everything.

Appreciation

2008-09-05T08:37:00.000-07:00

I was told yesterday that "it's nice having you around". This was a big Wow for me. I've been in an environment where little is said about appreciating the work one does. As with my kids I've found that a little praise goes a long way. I have been very lucky in my career to have others mentor and teach me what makes one successful in life. I have worked with so many talented individuals and appreciated them for their unique talents. Sylvia has been a great mentor to me and was patient enough to listen to all of my questions when i was a green intern. Linzie was the most confident young women I've ran into, no one could squash her. Jodee was very positive, energetic, and organized. She helped me understand the importance of writing things down. Pete who has worked in a family business environment helped me understand when to say nothing/bite my tongue. Rachael who keeps the company on track, taught me to just stick with the facts, I admire a hard worker like her. Colleen is well spoken and definitely speaks her mind. She has taught me a lot about self respect and I so appreciate that. Chris my boss/brother who taught me an unbelievable amount about selling. He pushed me to the limit in many ways and I learned so much words cannot summarize it. One thing that sticks in my head that he always stressed was, learn how to tell a story, capture people, tell them why things should be important to them. I can appreciate his relentless nature. I can't forget Ellen, her and I made a great team and made remarkable strides in marketing, she taught me loyalty, respect. Dennis who can become friends with anyone in minutes, I appreciate his sense of humor. Loren who was like a big brother constantly reminding me that it’s important to use positive words, never say I will try say I will do. Frank who has so much courage and animation, he has shown me what passion for your business can do. I appreciate his courage and Frankness. This is just a few of the people I have evolved me and my life; we all want to do a good job and want to be appreciated. I find good in almost every person I meet. Everyone has their niche or talent, my big debate these past few days has been what area do I focus on to develop the business.

Building My Wings

2008-09-03T13:33:00.000-07:00

Today I will go home and write a job description for what it is I have been doing here for 14 years. I have been writing down all of the procedures and things I need to go over when training my replacement. I heard a great quote today, "Sometimes you just have to take the leap, and build your wings on the way down. " This is exactly what I am doing.

Bitter Sweet

2008-09-02T08:39:00.000-07:00

We exceeded our internet sales goal for the month of August! I have been trying to prove this for atleast seven years, not to mention the marketing departments overall value. So today has been bitter sweet. The internet leads previously were not in one contact management system. This effected the ability to track leads and severely impacted our ability to track sales. No one knew the status of the leads and fingers got pointed. I truely believe that we mistakenly abandon some of our best marketing programs.

This information came the week after I announced I would like to step back from my Management position. Talk about kairos. I am finally able to show the ROI due to having an accurate system. We have reached our goal! I am confident in saying that we've met this for years, however the tracking system was not in place until this month. So this is why it was bitter sweet, I can now show my worth. Something I've struggled with for years. I will continue with my quest this week to pass the torch to someone; I will continue to have the company’s best interest at hand. Some say I'm crazy and to let it go, but it’s kind of like my baby I want to make sure it is taken care of the way I have for 14 years now.

It was my daughters first day of school today, I wasn't able to walk her to school :( I will do whatever possible to be present during these special moments like the first days of school in the future. Bitter Sweet it is.

Reactions

2008-09-01T05:15:00.000-07:00

I have been a very traditional girl for years now with the typical 9-5 job living the average American life. I've been following the path of what people say is normal for years. So when I told various people what I planned on doing I got some pretty great reactions. My Dad was the best of all, after I told him I was going to take a step back from my career he said, "we'll you better be ready to find yourself a cabin in the woods and hunt your own food, and chop wood. Knowing my Dad came from a rough childhood where he was one child of 12 living on bread and tomatoes I can understand. I took it for what its worth. My Mom just shook her head and said "MhhMhh" . I think she understands more than anyone what I am trying to do. She's been the one that I've called on the way to work as I am sobbing because I didn't want to leave my kids everyday. She is my best friend she here's it all and is my sound board. Gosh I love her, she's a great person:) Then there was the reactions from my friends, most of them were so excited for me and wished me luck. Except for Tammi who asked 100 questions, "what if they fire you?" Playing the devils advocate I could appreciate, she always makes me think about the side that I try to avoid. However this one was already thought of, what if they fired me? She of course wished me the best and was happy for me.

The moment that I told my boss (brother) and the VP of the company not much was said. We sat in the conference room the lights were dimmed and nothing was said for about 5 minutes. I was explaining how I thought it all could work, and they just looked at the proposal I handed them. Then my brother asked "what do you want to get paid hourly?" Then the VP said "well I guess we can't make you work full time." I wanted to say so much but I knew I had to keep things simple, to keep my composure and not end up blubbering. After all I had worked with these two for 14 years, and the waters ran deep.

Finding My Place

2008-08-29T09:20:00.000-07:00

I took a chance last week, I proposed a new situation for my role with the Marketing Department. I proposed to step back from Managing the department, and take a part time role for an indefinite amount of time. My ultimate goal was to be part time by January 2009, start my own website marketing business and have more time with my kids while there young. Everything was there timing was right, Kairos was on my side. So I did it and believe it will work out and be a Win Win for all:)

How I came to this decision, I personally felt unfulfilled like I hadn't found my place in this world. So my goal in 2008 was to find my place in this world. To determine why I had been put on this earth. Don't get me wrong I am greatful for everything I have. I am blessed in many ways, however I believed that there was something more. I wanted more time with my kids, and they have grown so fast! Emily is now 6 and Jake is 3 1/2.

Yesterday I celebrated 9 years of marriage, and now the new chapter in our families life begins! I am nervous, but I am so excited.